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Click here for the January 2008 issue
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If you are an international staff or faculty member at the School of Medicine, this article is written for you. If you are a U.S. native working with international staff or faculty, read How to Communicate with Your International Co-workers instead.
As she walked down a hall in Anatomy-Chemistry, Tomoko saw her co-worker Brenda coming towards her.
“Tomoko, glad I bumped into you,” said Brenda. “I’ve been meaning to tell you my husband is throwing me a big birthday bash in a few weeks, and we’re inviting everyone from the lab. It’s the last Saturday of the month. Do you think you can come?”
Tomoko realized that would be during her vacation, when she would be back home in Japan visiting family. Not wanting to offend Brenda, she smiled politely. “Thank you. I will be in Tokyo that day,” she said. “But perhaps I can come.”
As Brenda said goodbye and moved on, Tomoko sensed that Brenda seemed unhappy with her answer. “I wonder if I have offended her by not coming to her party,” Tomoko thought.
This scenario highlights one of the communication challenges between cultures. Although Tomoko had tried to tell Brenda (in the indirect manner expected in Tomoko’s native culture), that she couldn’t come to the party, Brenda was confused. And although Tomoko had been polite so she would not offend her, Brenda was annoyed. The reason?
Brenda had expected for Tomoko to either accept the invitation or to say directly, “Sorry, but I won’t be able come,” which is considered a polite answer in Brenda’s native U.S. culture. Brenda was annoyed because she felt Tomoko had not answered her question, and because she did not know whether or not to plan on Tomoko being at the party since she did not understand Tomoko’s reply.
The issue of Direct vs. Indirect communication styles is one of the communication dichotomies which can cause problems between international and U.S. co-workers. Each of these styles has its own intrinsic, often unspoken, rules. When a person used to communicating under one set of rules is thrust into a situation where another set of rules is being used, it’s like trying to play chess using the rules of Go. Ultimately, it leads to frustration.
Some cultures, such as in the U.S., Germany and the U.K. generally value a direct style of communication. They like to “get down to business,” “cut to the chase,” and “get to the point.” They do not feel offended or shamed by the kind of direct statements that might be considered offensive in indirect cultures such as in Asia. In fact, when things are not stated directly, people from direct cultures (such as your U.S. co-workers) can become confused and frustrated, and might not understand the message at all. They are used to communicating with people whose mantras are “say what you mean, and mean what you say” and “let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no.’” In these cultures, being direct is how people show respect.
In cultures that use an indirect communication style, such as China, Japan, and other Asian cultures, it is very common to encounter situations where people communicate in a way that would not cause someone to lose face. Thus, communication happens indirectly. Messages are subtly implied rather than explicitly stated, and people are accustomed to reading between the lines for the message. Words such as “perhaps” and “maybe” are often code for “no,” since saying “no” could risk shaming someone. In these cultures, being indirect is how people show respect.
While saying “I would love to come, but I’m afraid I can’t. I’ll be in Tokyo visiting my family.” can sound blunt or offensive to people from indirect cultures, it is considered polite in direct cultures. So, depending on which rules you are playing by, the same words could be an expression of politeness, or an expression of rudeness.
With these differences in mind, it’s easy to see how communication problems can occur.
“In China, where I am from,” says Dr. Patricia Tsao, Senior Research Investigator in the Rheumatology Division, “if your experiment failed and needed to be redone, your manager would not actually say that. He would drop hints, and you would pick up on them and re-do the experiment.”
So imagine a U.S. manager saying matter-of-factly to a Chinese subordinate “Looks like your experiment didn’t work; run it again and let me know how it goes.” A person used to indirect communication might feel shocked by such a direct statement (especially from someone in authority), and feel they need to defend themselves. The manager would not realize he/she had offended their subordinate, and would think that the subordinate was over-reacting and becoming “touchy” if the subordinate became upset or defended himself/herself.
Those from indirect cultures think of their own style as polite and face-saving, and sometimes see direct communication as rude, blunt and overly-aggressive. Those from direct cultures think of their style as open and honest, and sometimes think of indirect communication as “beating around the bush” and a sign that the communicator is trying to be difficult, shifty, or maddeningly vague.
Akio Morita (co-founder of SONY) once said that when Westerners “ask questions or express an opinion, they want to know right away whether the other party agrees or opposes them. So in English, ‘yes’ or ‘no’ comes first. We Japanese prefer to save the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for last. Particularly when the answer is ‘no,’ we put off saying that as long as possible, and they find that exasperating.”
Each of us intrinsically feels that our style is the “right” style, and the other is the “wrong” style, but in the end, it’s not a matter of right or wrong, but of getting on the same wavelength.
So the keys to effective cross-cultural communication are to:
- try to understand the rules by which people are playing
- play by their cultural rules as much as possible when we communicate with them, and
- give them grace when they have trouble understanding and playing by the rules of your culture.
If Tomoko is aware of the direct/indirect communication difference between their cultures, when Brenda invites her to the party she could say, “Thank you for inviting me, you are so nice! I wish I could come. If I wasn’t going to be in Tokyo that day I would be there. I’m so sad I can’t be!” As impolite as that may sound to her, she can be confident knowing that it has not offended Brenda. In fact, it has helped Brenda, since now that she clearly understands that Tomoko will not come, she can tell her husband how many people to expect at her party so that he can make proper preparations for the guests.
And when the supervisor asks the Asian subordinate to re-do the experiment, the subordinate could remind himself that the supervisor doesn’t mean it as an accusation. If your manager addresses you directly like this, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad worker on the verge of being fired, or that your manager doesn’t like you. It’s important to remember not to take things personally.
The ancient saying, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” is popular in the U.S.A. People here expect internationals to learn English and learn the native cultural rules if they are going to live here. (This may seem ironic considering U.S. natives don’t always do the same when they travel and live abroad!)
The rules by which any culture operates are often complex and unstated, and often there are sub-cultures within the general culture that have different rules. (For example, in the Philadelphia area and much of the rest of the U.S., it is considered polite for children to answer “yes” or “no” when adults ask them questions. In many parts of the Southeastern U.S., however, adults expect children to add the honorifics “sir” or “ma’am.”)
All of these nuanced customs take time to learn, and it is a tremendously stressful endeavor when combined with all of the other challenges you have in being an expatriate.
On the other hand, the majority of U.S. natives have never traveled internationally and are often unaware of the rules of other cultures. They can offend you without meaning to or even realizing it.
So if you are from an indirect culture working at the SOM, it will help to give your U.S. co-workers (or co-workers from any other culture that communicates directly) a break. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt by assuming that their intentions are good when they don’t meet your cultural expectations. It can go a long way towards positive working relationships.
Learn to communicate clearly and directly with your U.S. co-workers and supervisors. Dr. Rodolfo Altamirano, Director of the International Student and Scholar Services (formerly the Office of International Programs) states, “Here in the U.S. it is very, very critical to share what your issues and challenges are immediately. Don’t wait. Americans often have a hard time guessing. You have to communicate; don’t be afraid to ask, and don’t wait until it is too late.”
If you feel that you are having communication difficulties, it is VERY important to get in touch with the International Student and Scholar Services to ask for their advice. Sometimes internationals will lose their positions at Penn over cultural miscommunications that could have been resolved if the International Student and Scholar Services had gotten involved.
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For International Staff who want more information on working successfully with U.S. staff and faculty, the SOM’s Office of Organization Effectiveness is holding two upcoming lunch-and-learn seminars:
Cross-Cultural Communication for Internationals at the SOM
Penn is a multicultural institution, with students, faculty and staff from all over the world. This makes for a very diverse, vibrant community, and at times, a rather confusing one, especially when the U.S. is not your native culture. This workshop will provide internationals with general advice on how to successfully bridge cultural gaps in the workplace.
Date: February 27, 2008
Time: 12:00 pm- 1:30 pm
Place: Biomedical Research Building (BRB) 251
Conducted by: Dr. Rodolfo Altamirano, Director of the Office of the International Student and Scholar Services
To register go to: http://knowledgelink.upenn.edu/ and look for desired course in the “Optional” page
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Survival Tips for Internationals at the SOM
- Are you frustrated your boss just doesn’t get what you are trying to tell him?
- Do you feel your coworkers misunderstand you all the time?
- Are you so sick and tired to explain yourself over and over again?
- Do you wish you can get around at work with more ease and grace?
Then come to the cross-culture communication workshop for practical tips on how to improve these issues!
Date: March 19, 2008
Time: 12:00pm - 1:30 pm
Place: Biomedical Research Building (BRB) 251
Conducted by: Dr. Patricia Tsao, Senior Research Investigator at the SOM
To register go to: http://knowledgelink.upenn.edu/ and look for desired course in the “Optional” page
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[i] Thomas D. Zweifel, Ph.D., “The Ten Most Costly Sins When Cultures Clash,” The Leadership in Public Affairs Program at The College of New Jersey, http://publicleaders.tcnj.edu/culture_clash/sins.htm (Accessed January 8, 2008)
Photo of Go board used by permission under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Go-Equipment-Narrow-Black.png)
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Also in the January 2008 issue:
How to Communicate with Your International Co-workers
Newest Supervisory Skills Certificate Graduates
Teambuilding
Workplace Q&A
Knowledge Link Help Desk
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